Steve Jobs was a rebellious thinker. He was disruptive.

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He had an idea for a mouse that could move in all directions, something that had never been made. One of his top engineers said, “it can’t be done.” The next day when the employees came to work, that guy did not. He was fired.

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Steve Jobs lived in the realm of possibility, not in the world of “it can’t be done.”

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He kept people around him that wanted to find a way through the obstacle. Not people who stopped and gave up at the obstacle.

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My whole life I have heard that breaking up is hard to do (there’s event a classic catchy song that gets stuck in your head!). I hear breakups suck from everyone. Whenever I tell someone what I do, people always wince like I pinched them. “That’s gotta be hard,” they tell me.

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I say, “no, it’s actually not. Sure, there are emotions but when you stop being afraid of your emotions, it’s not so bad. And it’s my job to see what’s possible for people. And I know that there is more to life than suffering. I know this person will get through this and I don’t doubt it for a second. It’s not hard when you know for certain what is possible.”

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How much easier would it be to go through your breakup if:

• you stopped telling yourself how hard it is?
• If you stopped feeling afraid of uncomfortable feelings?
• You stopped fighting for what you don’t want and start putting your effort to fight for what you do want?

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I’m telling you, life gets easier and sweeter when you stop focusing on the obstacle.

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I’m not denying the pain that happens after a breakup. And I’m not trying to make it a fairy tale fantasy.

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But I’m also trying to steer into the skid. If your car spins out, every driving instructor tells you to not resist it or fight against it. Instead, go against your instinct to fight it and steer into the skid. You will get out faster and safer.

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Steer into the skid of your breakup. Perhaps you didn’t see it coming. Maybe you didn’t want it to happen.

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But you get to control how you respond to this moment. You can make it harder or easier in yourself. I have dedicated my life to learning how to make it easier. So I choose that.

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Are you with me?

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Surround yourself with people who find a way, not the people who say it can’t be done. People called Steve Jobs a lunatic, but look at what he created. The proof is in the pudding for what is possible. Want me to be that person for you?

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It’s always an honor to be on someone’s recovery team and I want to help you, too.